What Ifs

What ifs suck, they really really do. I had one today that came out of no where. I was eating and it popped into my head, and i almsot pucked. It hit me that hard. It was a what if that in my brain shattered the picture of my hopes for the future, and when that image shattered, my insides wanted to go with it. I even felt ill for like an hour afterwards. The picture in my mind, everything that i want to happen, everything that i have planned, it all shattered. All hopes, dreams, plans, everything gone. It just shattered. I had to stop thinking it hurt so much. Like, my mind can make something so small seem so big and so amazingly huge that it gets blown out of proportion in my head and it alters my mind for that split second. Then my world shatters. I can just say that what ifs suck so so much. And this one hurt like hell.