I'm Trying...Very Hard, For You

I'm trying, i really am trying. Whenever i think about that stuff right now i try to push it aside and just not think about it. You have no clue how hard it is, but I'm trying, for you. I've never tried this hard for someone so please understand. If you can't understand put yourself in my position, think about what I'm going through. Think about what I'm trying to do. I'm pushing aside everything that has been put into my head about that stuff, I'm pushing aside my feeling about it and what i really want to say to you about it. What i really want you to do. But i wont say that to you because I'm not going to be that person. I'm going to live with it and deal with it and learn because it is what you do and who you are so i need to get over it and understand myself. Maybe one day you'll understand my position, maybe not. Just know that I'm trying for you. I wish you knew how i felt sometimes....that would help you to understand why i worry and why i don't like it. But I love you more than anything so even if there are things i don't like that you do i can still deal with them and live with them because I love you. I'm glad you are on my side for this the best you can be, it lets me know that you love me to, and that means more than anything.