My Brains In Knots

I honestly don't know what to do exactly. I have been given the proposition of trying something that will help me in the end, but it is a 5 month process and it entails a series of tests, blood drawings, and other things. I don't know if i should do it or not. I am honestly scared to really, but the outcome can be so good that the thought of doing it sounds so good. But, i am so terrified of one part in particular, a stipulation that MUST be followed or it isn't even possible. But it is a stipulation that i have a problem with either way it can go. It entails either using two forms of it, or not doing it at all. And either way...I'm scared and screwed. For the first part of that, the using two forms of it, I am ok with the one perfectly fine (considering I'm on it right now), but the other terrifies me. I think i may possibly have a phobia towards it, and having to use it for 5 months every single time that happens......i don't think i can. He hasn't seen me when on gets near me in that way, and i honestly don't want him to have to see me like that. I break down crying and i think i have a panic attack. I can say that i have had way to many doctors in my life and i associate it with a doctors glove, and that does not need to be in the picture when that's happening. So that scares me to pieces. And the other part of it, the doing nothing for 5 months....well, that scares me to, but in a different way. I know that i like it a lot, and i know that so does he...like, a crap ton.....and i know that 5 months is just about a third of our whole relationship so far, and 5 months is a long long time. If i chose that route, what would happen? I know my fears would never happen, he isn't like that, but not doing that for 5 months and basically cutting cold turkey will get to anyone. I would be right there but unavailable for that. My fear there is what if, what if the need and urge got so bad that he couldn't wait the 5 months for that to be over. What if, what if he found someone else to help him out with that problem and didn't wait for me.....what if he found someone else because i couldn't do anything. What if that made him not love me anymore.....Idk, these thoughts have just been in my mind and i needed to get them out to sleep tonight. I think in the end, because both of these options are just to hard for me, i wont go with the thing. I am just to scared of both to go through with it.