Took Me Long Enough, But....It's A Good Thing

So, the other day me and Deric had a talk about the 5 month thing i may or may not choose to do. We talked about it and he said he supports whatever decision i make. Even if that decision means not doing anything for 5 months. Our conversation ended, but what i never had said was that i wasnt finished....I had more i wanted to say but was afraid to say it because when i did on here he kinda laughed at me about it and i didnt want to be laughed at again. I worried that if i did this 5 month thing and we did nothing for that long that he would go find someone else to do what i couldnt do for him. In other terms....i was afriad he would cheat on me. I know that it would not happen, Deric is to good of a guy to do that, and i know he wouldnt do that because he loves me very much. But i have fears, i never had the reassurance before that the person i was with wouldn't do anything like that. Whenever i was even with them and around other girls, say ones with bigger boobs then mine or ones that were prettier then me, nothing ever felt safe, i never felt like i was the only important one in there eyes. There were always others. But, after last night, i know that i will never have to worry about things like that. Deric is just to amazing. As i had said in my last post we went to Club Envy, and it being Halloween there were girls dressed up in everything imaginable...and barely anything at all. There were the go go dancers that were basically in lingerie and nothing at all and girls with there asses hanging out and boobs everywhere. At first i was kinda like eh, not too sure about this, but it was like as soon as i thought that, i felt weird thinking it. When we were hanging out i didn't feel concerned at all, i felt like Deric was only looking at me in that certain way. I was the only important one to him. Even when i was basically dressed normal, i was still the best one there to him. Even when the go go dancers started dancing, we watched them cause there dancing was really cool, but i felt like he was just watching them like i was. There were girls there that were barely dressed and prettier then me, yet i was the important one. I cant explain how good that makes me feel and how much it reassures me of everything. I love Deric to death and I know he loves me. Its a good feeling.