Last week was an annoying week for me. I was waiting and wondering and kinda stressed about many things. My tea order from Adagio came and low and behold they put the wrong label on my box. I got some other girls order. So i emailed the company because i was like what the hell!?!? I payed a lot for my tea and i expect to get it. Then the company took forever to get back to me. When they finally did though they said they would shipping out my order AGAIN so i should have it on Monday and I'll be pissed if I don't. I also learned that there is a way for me to work both full time at work and full time at school....it would only be for 1 semester....aka 4 months....but i was waiting for Adam to talk to Mike about it and see what he thought and Adam took his time getting back to me so i was anxious. When i went to talk with Mike i was nervous as hell but he seemed to understand that i want this really bad and he seemed fine with the idea and i just need to figure out what department i want to go to, garden or Appliances. I'm torn in weird ways about it though cause garden is probably where i really want to be because i like that department a lot. BUT, appliances does not have a lot of people and i would be making more money because it is a specialty i would be going into. They also have like...3 people now since Amy quite. So they are in desperate need for someone. Garden has like 6 billion people. So I am super torn about this. Now today i had this lady walk up to me already in a pissy ass mood, she got even more pissed off when i told her i couldn't do something and proceeded to yell at me and storm off while yelling she was going to Lowe's. I fucking didn't care, go to Lowe's bitch. BUT, she called later and bitched Matt out, so then he called up and talked to me about it, we found a way to solve the issue, but i feel like I made a mistake. I was super pumped yesterday because the whole full time thing seemed in the clear and after today i feel like it's all gone. It's stupid to worry like i am but people who don't work at the depot don't understand how important customer service is and in this ladies eyes i did a horrible horrible job. I'm scared now that i won't get the full time. All i want are hugs and cuddles and soft kisses right now. But....Deric is working. I don't know why but i'm feeling very very lonely. I'm also feeling extremely sad. I should be studying for Bio but lately i haven't had the motivation for it. I just want things to go right for once in my life and right now i don't feel like they are. I mean like go right for more than 1 stinken day. Like for a whole year before i feel like this again. There is just a lot of things that I feel like are slipping away slowly.
Halloween was a good day at least. Trick-or-Treating sucked because we always get a lot of heights people and right when i was about to pull out of the driveway for work this car pulled into out driveway to let a bunch of people out! Like hello, can you not see i was trying to leave...But after work me and Deric went to Envy after he got home. We had a blast, Deric got drunk, we had shots with Hoss, and danced our asses off. We got back home and watched TV till like 4am....we actually were talking with the TV on so not really watching it.....but the conversations he have when Deric is drunk are interesting because he talks a lot and says things and explains things he normally wouldn't say if he were sober. Not bad things, but more informative things i guess. Idk, I like the conversations we have. I ended up drinking half a bottle of wine too and my body was feeling numb and tingly and it was interesting. I will say though, there is one conversation i wish i could forget. I wish i could have changed that day and i wish it hadn't happened like it did. I know I hurt you bad....read my Mr. Brightside post for peat sake....I wish i hadn't. I wish it had happened differently. All i can say to you is that I am so sorry. You don't like hurting me but i live every day knowing i killed you that day. I did that. I hurt the man I love more than anything. It's a guilt I'll always live with. But we had a good night otherwise, we passed out in each others arms and it was nice.
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