Lost

The last thing i need to do is get involved in other peoples problems right now. Last thing i need. I gotta care about me, myself, and I right now for once in my life. Yes I do care about my friends and i will still help them with their problems. Same with Deric. Of course i will help him if he needs any help. But other than that, fuck no. I have a lot too think about right now and a lot on my plate. I'm scared and angry and depressed right now and i feel like the world is crumbling around me. Everything I have striven for and tried SO hard to accomplish may have been for nothing. I don't know what I'm going to do and I am feeling lost and I feel like i have no one who understands and no one who is even trying to help or even just listen and let me talk about my situation or just someone who is trying to be there. I feel kinda alone right now. I don't want someone to tell me it is going to be ok because It very well might not be and I will not get my hopes up when i shouldn't. I need someone right now. I need someone bad. I was so lonely and sad last night because i felt so defeated that i went and got some of my old stuffed animals out and cuddled them last night because i didn't have anyone there with me. I have not cuddled a stuffed animal in YEARS. So yeah..i had hit a low point.