Goal for tonight, get a real amount of sleep. No waking up in a panic like i have been, no having bad thoughts all night long that keep me awake, just a nice restful nights sleep. This may start pretty early since I might go to bed now and it's only 8:15. Deric wanted me to be rested for tomorrow so I'm gonna do my best to be.
I just want my in a panic wake ups to stop. No one likes waking up with their heart racing and having a feeling that something is wrong. Like the night that Deric went out, I woke up in a panic which was probably because he never called. Not sure why i unconsciously panicked about it but I did. My internal clock apparently knew he had stayed out way later than he said he would at the restaurant. But it has also happened for other nights too, not just that one. Or i go to bed and my heart starts racing. Like I'm nervous about something. Ugh i'm not sure whats going on, but for tonight I'm hoping nothing like that happens cause I want to fucking sleep for once. tomorrow night I know I will cause I'll be with Deric and he will be with me all night keeping me company and cuddling me and in my eyes making sure I'm safe and ok.
I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. I can't wait to be with Deric all day cause I get out at 1 instead of 4:30 like normal so we can actually do things! Yay! I'm ready to be with my love all day cause after that well.....I won't see him for 2 weeks and I'm not sure how thats gonna go cause it fucking sucks. I see him like once a week and now I wont see him at all. AKA why we need our own place.
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