Run Run Run

So much to say, not really sure how to sum it up. Idk if i even can. Going to Hobo's tomorrow cause its yummy and cheap....I think i'm starting to like that place. Gotta meet with my Humanities professor because we are supposed to and i picked tomorrow...then gonna talk to math and physical science department about renewing my scholarship.....i know i am slaking on that but i have been busy and I'm doing my best here. Almost broke down today a little. Things just went bad to worse and i did not know what to do. I really wanted to go to the gym...but they close at 5 on Sunday so i couldn't  Then my mom and Cameron left to go to the store so i blasted music from my iPod in my ears. I forget how long ago that music is from, i love it truly but it brings memories back of friends i once had and different times when things made sense more often and i didn't know what to do. I wanted to leave, i wanted to run, i wanted to never move again. So i got on the treadmill and just ran as fast as i could....but like all things you can't run away from your feelings and i could not run away from the feeling inside me no matter how fast i went. So i stopped. I went upstairs and stared at the cupboard. I sat down on the floor and opened it and looked inside. How tempting the bottles were. I sat back against the cupboards and looked at the ceiling trying to fight the urge. Blasting music, feeling like I'm going insane, crying, staring at the ceiling and the bottles. Then my dog jumped on me and licked my face. And brought me back to the world. Cupboard was shut and i went to study some more with her following me everywhere i went. I love that dog even though she can be a pain in the butt some times. She helps me out even when i don't realize it. Thought about driving by the beach but i didnt want to leave her so i didnt. I just studied, watched criminal minds, and once upon a time. I got some other stuff i gotta look into...hoping all are understanding with this....All my friends are outta town once again, it was nice to see them when they came in. I got all of my tattoos done/finished so now all tattoos look good. Kinda bummed with Kat bailing on me. But in all honesty it's ok. Learned some things this week i NEVER thought would happen. Kinda surprised by them, but it aint me so i really dont give a damn. Liking the gym, did the elliptical yesterday and walking may seem easy....but try walking backwards for awhile, you use totally different muscles then you normally do and it hurts. Good hurt though. Hoping i turn chemistry around form a B to an A but i really gotta get into it which is hard when i have a million other things to do. Hopefully tomorrow is a good day. Lots of cute stuff would be nice. I like cute. Just loving words are nice to though. I need lots of those right now, they help. I'm rambling and i should stop, so I'm going to bed because i think i have a test tomorrow so goodnight.