Bits And Pieces

So, multiple things, will write them separately cause they don't really have anything to do with each other.

Today i hung out with Dawn and her boyfriend, mind you i hadn't done that since that terribly awkward incident. I didn't mind it, but, it wasn't like it used to be, you know way back when like freshman sophomore year. It reminded me of those times...but then i remember that those times are to be forgotten, i did a lot of stupid things then, not like stupid like some peoples stupid, but for me it was and i just don't ever need them in my mind again, so even if i only hang out with those two every however many months as it had been or never, it wont bother me one bit. They just really needed to vent to someone about their roommate, which is fine...but i feel weird now and i don't really know why, maybe because it reminded me of way back when, I'm not sure, but it wont kill me if i never get to hang out with them again.

Next would be the dream i had last night, it was so weird and vivid. But i mean, all my dreams are very vivid because that's just how i dream. In my dream i was yelling at this person for all the hurt they had caused me and everything they did to me, i think i had this dream though because there are times when i think about things like my insecurities, and before when i thought about them i still had them or it was a slow going procces of healing them, but finally though i think they are pretty much healed. Deric has shown me  how beautiful i really am and how amazing everything about me is, including my small boobs. I dont think about my body in the way i used to anymore, im proud of it and happy for it. I think i yelled at this person in my dream in my dream because yes they had really caused some damage but in the end all of that damage has been repaired and its time for the things they did to my mind to leave an dbe gone forever because i have someone who loves me as i am no matter what. And tahts all that matters, not if i have big boobs or not. If i am loved as is, that means i am perfectly beautiful.

We got our report cards at school and for the first time in my life i got a 4.0! I am so proud of myself, i am really doing wel and getting somewhere and i am almost done with high school and kinda have college figured out, still have some things to figure out but im working on it. Plus my direct deposit works and my money was put into the bank this morning and i now have 2 grand in the bank. Yay me, getting even closer to getting that car of mine. I am just excited for what im doing right now, im working, going to school, balancing 3 AP classes and i just got a 4.0, and this week im working 30 hours, I can truly say i am super proud of myself cause i never really have been before like this. I feel kinda smart.

Lastly, I just wanted to say that i am so thankful for Deric, I dont know where i would be without him. He makes sure i do well in school and pushes me to do well, and then when i do hes proud of me, and when he tells me that i feel really good about doing well. Then hes always giving me compiments and calling me lovely, gorgeous, and beautiful and when he says it, i know i am all those things. He never fails to tell me that he loves me and that means the world to me because i knwo every single day that i am loved by him, he usually calls me every day to from work when hes on break just to talk to me or atleast say that he loves me, i know that he really cares about me and that im important to him when he takes the time just to do those little things. He just, makes me always feel wondeful. And i gotta say, im pretty proud of him to for everything that he does. Hes working full time to help pay the bills and he buys most of his own things, hes always on top of his car and when he has trouble he does whatever he can to fix it. I'm proud of him for it because there are things he does that really do amaze me because i know that i would never be able to do them like he does. I love him so much and i am so happy to know that i am loved just as much. He means everything to me.