Nothing Works Out With Life

I don't even know what this feeling is. Today has just felt weird in general i guess. Maybe I'm tired form work or frustrated that i work so much. I guess frustrated with my work/school schedule and Deric's work/sleep schedule. Totally opposite or at the exact same time always. So in other words i never get to see him because when I'm in school hes sleeping and when i get out we both go to work or he goes to work. I miss the days that we could spend all day long with each other. Cause even on the one day that that was possible recently it still wasn't able to happen. I just want another day again, that's all and apparently that's just way to much to ask for cause the world has a different schedule. And then today i went over to Deric's to just chill and do a bit of homework while i waited for him to get outta work cause he was supposed to have early out today....i even picked up his room a bit because it needed it and I'm just that nice...then heather got sick though so instead hes closing.....wont see him tomorrow either most likely. Even if he does have early out and I'm outta work at 8, i don't foresee that happening. I don't know why i picked up more hours for this week...I'm just stupid i guess pushing myself to handle more and more along with school. It hasn't really bothered me until now. Now i just want to curl up all day long with Deric and do absolutely nothing...or go down to the beach with him or something like that. Or just see him would work. lol. And then today just felt strange the few times i got to talk to hm on the phone, something felt off today. I'm not sure what....I'm probably just a tad off myself considering I'm tired and all. Idk, but I'm supposed to work like 30 hours this week then the week after i am probably going to be helping with the Allegros show when I'm not working....so that still leaves no room for Deric. I am OK with school and work only if it doesn't affect my social life to a large degree, which this is starting to and I'm not really happy about it. I really could just use a hug or something or a big I love you or i don't even know. We possibly could do lunch tomorrow but since hes closing now I'm not even going to ask cause even if it is from 3-4 i don't want to wake him up. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining at all or anything...i just want everything to be alright and work out well. I just, I love him more than anything and i don't want to lose him ever.....i feel like this isn't even making sense anymore...sigh...i guess ill go to bed now...