I Needed This Day. Thank You Deric

Today was really needed. Deric always makes me feel better, always. And with what happened yesterday...i needed him a lot. I needed to talk to him about it and i needed him to tell me that it would be ok. And that's exactly what he did. We just cuddled and i told him everything and i did break down a bit like i said i would. He just listened, told me his view on it...which, i part of what I'm going to start doing slowly. Less seeing my "friend" and whatnot. He held me close when i cried and told me it was going to be ok. And he just kept telling me that he loved me. He asked why i cared about the guys opinion anymore, it isn't that i do, its the fact that my friend seemed to be using it as a ha I'm better than you thing which bugged the crap outta me. Today was kinda my rant day. Though, he then did tell me a few things that we have talked about before that i had been trying and working on but i had kinda stopped lately but when he said it i felt like i wasn't good enough and i started to worry about what if i couldn't get good at it or couldn't do it. I told him this and i must say, hes an amazing guy. He told me that from the beginning he knew i was good enough and all is takes is some practice and I'm already good at it so no need to be worried. I guess i was just worried that if i couldn't do it to the extent that he wants me to he'd be unhappy and leave or something. Idk, i have had a shit ton on my mind lately and my mind is tired. But, i gotta say. Deric, I love you. You mean the world to me and i don't know what i would do without you. Thank you for everything you do.