Would Really Like That Hug That I Can't Have

Gah my mother is a BITCH. Like, you might think I'm over exaggerating...but I'm not...at all. My mother gets so freaking pissy sometimes and guess who gets the blunt of it, yeah, me. I don't even know what she gets so angry over, but it goes all to me. Then she yells at me when i get angry at her and it seems like no reason...so i get a no win situation either way. Then if its a day like today, one where I'm just tired and worn down from the week so far because i have been getting up so early to go to Fiddle Camp every day all day, then i get done with fiddle camp and I'm still running, and i haven't even gotten to really just chill yet today, plus i still have to go to work apparently and all i want to do is go and cuddle with Deric so he can calm me down. BUT i cant do that...why? Because i made a comment to my mother that wasn't bad at all really. She was sitting on her but at the dinner table while we were all cleaning so i said that she could clean the table once in awhile...and what did i get? I get bitched at and I'm not allowed to see Deric for the rest of the day. And I'm pissed and upset. I know i get to see him tomorrow and all...but school starts like in less than 2 weeks and once its started i wont see him at all because I'm taking 3 AP classes plus working plus theater when i can. I want to see him as much as i can before i cant. Plus today has been an emotional day for me. Not sure why...I'm not on my period or anything but now that I'm upset i cant seem to get un-upset and i keep almost breaking down and crying which I'm trying not to do. But i know that if i start crying its not going to stop for a bit. I'm trying to stay strong and calm for Deric, but dear lord, Deric that is so hard to do sometimes...keeping calm with my mother around....VERY hard....And i don't want to go to work because i don't know if i am going to be able to keep it together. I just want to chill and cuddle with Deric honestly. To get that hug and to have his arms around me and to just be with him would calm me down so much...but no. I have a mother so that cant happen. GGGAAAHHH