I hope no one reads this. Who ever you are, please dont read it.
Somewhat wondering, what ifs kicking my ass, and slightly sad, depressed kinda, i dont really know.
For one, i feel like im suffocating Deric. He stayed up like all night just to play video games because he hasnt played them in forever because he hasnt had a him time in a looong time....and thats because of me. I feel really bad about this, like really bad...I get clingy i guess, and i love spending time with him. Then i guess i dont realize that i dont let him have any time to himself cause im always near him. I know i should give him space....but i want to spend time with him...and a lot of the times....i need to spend time with him because it helps calm me down and helps me to be happy. But....i dont know, im confusing myself....
The somehwat wondering and what ifs have nothing to do with that and neither does the emotions. Being at my house lately is making me unhappy, and that makes me sad. slightly depressed has to do with life right now and how school is somewhat kicking my butt and thats really hard on me because i had such high hopes and dreams that im not sure are possible anymore. That, and my hopes getting crushed hasnt happened in a long time (i have a great boyfriend who doesnt cruch my hopes.), this thing is about my future career, and it may not happen. I...I'm scared.....admitting this is making me cry.....im nervous. sigh. Ill talk to Deric about it tomorrow. I need a good relaxer, i need something. Maybe ill try that soon, just for the heck of it, that and im determined to get my freakin tattoo soon!!!
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