Guess You Can't Stay That Happy And Bubbly For Too Long

That or because my periods supposed to be now. I was so happy and confident earlier. I got everything done i needed to and hopefully get a job. Everything was going swimmingly. Then, idk, it crashed i guess. I started thinking about what could possibly be for real happening this time with my dad. He seems, very for sure this time, and it scares me. I'm not thinking about it much because it gets me sad and depressed and i told myself to not really think about it or get worked up about it. And I'm really not, its just hard i guess. Then for some random unknown reason i started having the thoughts about my insecurities again. I have no clue where it came from because i was feeling good about my boobs. I really was. Then my brain just was like no, they are small and why would anyone like them, blah blah blah. That got me kinda in a rut to. This happened at Deric's house to, like come one brain. Both these things actually at once. Then Deric noticed something wasn't completely right with me, he catches the slightest things. I told him about the dad thing...but i was embarrassed to tell him the other thing.....so i didn't tell him that one. I know he thinks its silly, and i know he thinks that i shouldn't worry about that kinda stuff because he loves me just the way i am any size that i am. But, it got imprinted into my brain and still likes to pop up every once in awhile. That and with how my face has been looking, aka not too good, just kinda wants to make me sigh. I wish when things were up and happy that they could stay like that. Cause when things get like this all of the sudden, all i really want is to just be held close, as close as possible, and told that I'm amazing and how much I'm loved and that no matter what, everything will be fine. I guess those kinda things are something i need every once in awhile.