Wooden Doors

There is a weird emptiness that I am feeling right now. Whenever things like this happen, something very bad, there is a solid wood door that I shut my feelings away with. Like a form of protection. The door doesn't budge even if i want it to. Everything i am feeling i can feel it brimming, churning, bubbling just beneath the surface. I distract myself with things and i have no thought to think. I am surrounded by..... nothing. My sister, my beloved sister, her pain went too far today and she did something that could have really hurt her, luckily it was not an extreme pill. It was nothing that she needed out in the next few seconds or death would a cur. But it was the action. No being is worth that much pain to put onto yourself. No one. If they cause it is their own damn fault for being who they are. They are terrible creatures. Not you. Over time i have learned that not everyone is a true friend or someone who truly cares about YOU. People are selfish and don't understand the weight words can have on an individual. If what they say to you is true, it should make you re evaluate how you go about life because if more than one person says something then their could be truth in it. But when someone is an ass, when someone is bent on making you hurt and does not care for your well being because, well, they suck, they are not worth even worrying or thinking over. And NO ONE is worth hurting yourself for. We all feel pain and some handle it much better than others. I hope never again to be told what i was told today. I hope to never have to rush to an ER for that reason. I hope to god I do not see that kids face again. The one that hurt her. He will wish he never saw me. I protect my family and those i care about. It pains me to see them in pain. I held it together to be strong for them, for her, to show her love and support.


The dam broke and the door opened.

Sometimes things in my mind are better left there. Better left unsaid.

I am frustrated right now.

But i will not say much about that.

I find waiting till I have cooled off to say things is the best coarse of action.

That way you don't say anything you'll regret.

Plus you'll have a cooled off head.

Plus I am hungry, so that doesn't help.