Weird ass day today. So many ups and downs. I know i have some mental problem but i just am too afraid and too stubborn to figure out what exactly it is. I hate the idea of having a problem like that, I don't want to be someone who has a problem, for once in my life i would love to be normal. I have always had a million doctors and a million tests because i had a problem that they still never really figured out. They just gave me an answer because they couldn't figure out a legit thing. I don't want a mental problem, i don't want to see a therapists, i don't want to take any more pills. I want to be normal. But with everything going on in my life right now....fuck.... normal is impossible to do.
Maybe that's why i always need things to change, on me that is. I add color to my hair, i get piercings and tattoos, i try to change up my fashion a bit. I like things like that to change because it makes me feel good. In my life i have gotten used to change because i had to. Come live at my house, things change every day.
Today has been kinda rough to. I am sore just about everywhere that matters. Aka my ass and my legs. I kinda do a lot with those on a day to day basis. My period supposed to be this week and my boobs hurt like a bitch, i mean they KILL. That and you know, i joined the Omni.....best idea ever.....and i started gaining weight so I'm like, ok, cool. I wanted to gain a few pounds anyways. I seem to keep gaining and i keep trying to flatten my tummy and its just not working. I think i was gaining muscle weight which isn't bad at all...but idk anymore. I have two tests this week and finals next week so i have to get ready for those and i have to right a paper for Political Science in place of my final....thank god i don't have to take that.....and i have a final on friday in my theater class that my professor royally screwed my group over on. Now it seems like I'm doing everything because, no offense, my groups kinda dumb. I have faith in them, but I'm still screwed.
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