Ugh, for once in my life I'm annoyed that my friend has butted into me and Deric's life. Like, one I don't like people questioning things that have already been discussed by me and Deric and that we have already agreed on. I don't like the fact that people assume the worst in Deric. Like seriously? I can confidently say that Deric will not hurt me like that, Deric will not cheat on me, and Deric will not do anything that he knows would make me angry, upset, hurt, uncomfortable, or like something he knows he shouldn't do. Yes, I do not agree with everything he does. I'll be honest about that. I'll agree that Teal is not the best person if shes known to sleep with men who are already in relationships. BUT, that does NOT mean that my Deric will do anything like that. OBVIOUSLY we talked about this. He tells me what he is doing, I tell him what i do. Thats how it goes. We do our best to be honest with each other. Yes there has been ONE thing that Deric did not tell me and that he lied to me about. But we talked it over, came to an agreement, and we are doing just fine. He still feels bad about it. No one knows what that boy says to me, no one knows that I have the sweetest and most kind hearted boy in the entire world. As long as Deric had to wait for me, as long as i was stupid and couldnt see a truth that was right in front of my face, He does not plan on losing me because he waited so long to have me and I have no plans on losing him over stupid ass shit. I love him to death. I miss him more than anything when I don't get to see him. I am so excited for us to get a place together. I am so happy he listens to me and to what i have to say. He listened to the fact that I have been lonely and sad at night and wanting him in my bed with me, but he knows he cant always be there, so he got me something i can cuddle with and act as him for when he cant be with me. That is how you know someone loves you, they take into account what you say to them, they listen to you and try to make your troubles better. I get insecure about many things, I feel like many people are much better than me, and yet Deric tells me every time that I have nothing to worry, I'm what he wants, not someone else.
All I've ever wanted is to have someone that loved me more than i could imagine. For someone to look at me every time they see me and just think I am amazing, to think I am beautiful and wonderful. For someone to look at me when I dress up for them and have them think I am the sexiest person in the world and they would want nothing more than to be with me. I think I have just this. I have someone who I really think (or at least really hope) thinks of me this way. I want nothing more than to be with you always.
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