Saturday, October 8, 2011

A Day Of Chosen Pain

Well, got my first tattoo today. Its on my right hip and yeah, it hurt. Mainly the spots that had no meat on them..aka my hip bone. Hurt like poo, but the other parts really didn't terribly cause after awhile certain parts just went numb. Its kinda weird to have because i keep thinking its going to be like those henna tattoos that's I've gotten and that it'll be gone in a week....but no. Its permanent forever, i just have to get that into my brain cause this one will for sure not go away. There are a few things that need to be fixed (kinda more along the lines of the guy wants to add so it looks even better) and that is make some lines thicker and add in a grey shading and a few other things. It is sore right now, and it feels like someone is still putting that needle into my skin. I didn't pass out or anything and i only had to have him stop a few times because i was starting to twitch really bad. My hip is bruised now to because i think the needle just went into my bone so now its bruised and sore. But well worth it i think. Its forever there....gotta remember this, its just weird going from one day of having nothing there..to something there forever. Whenever i pull up my shirt, whenever i get naked, take a shower, go swimming, its there. I like it for sure, just something to get used to. And I'm glad Deric likes it (I think he thinks its sexy but not entirely sure on that one) and that means a lot to me to because i plan on being with him for as long as i can be, until i die preferably, and i mean, if he likes it for that long ill be more than happy. Hes planning on getting a tattoo soon to. This one on his rib cage, which from what he has been old is gonna hurt like no other. So he is kinda in reconsidering where its gonna go mode. But i really do think that if that is where he really wants it he should get it there cause if he gets it someplace else he may not like it. I think he needs to keep that in mind.

On a side tangent from the tattoos, just noticed something today, nothing bad at all, something more of kinda and loving. Something in your eyes has changed a bit, a look. Its more gentle, kind, loving. Not that it wasn't that before cause it definitely was, but like, i can really see it now. It makes me happy. And I love you more than anything and I always will. I know you know this, but i don't think i can ever tell you enough. And you tell me that you love me all the time to, you call me from work just to say it, you never fail to say it after we do stuff (which means the world to me because i know that i have just done that with someone who truly cares about me and loves me and isn't afraid to tell me so), and you just say it everyday whenever. If you want to know why i seemed more emotional today it was because i just wanted to tell you like a billion times that i loved you and that you are the most amazing person in the world. It was those kind of days when you just feel so loved by the other person and your emotions are like flooded with love and happiness but its so much that you don't really know just how to express it. Definitely one of those days, but those are always good days and i thank you for them. <3

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