Broken Lock

It kinda sucks how we cannot completly block something from our mind. I really wish that we almost had a delete button so that all of those hurts could be erased and all the things that you tried to forget would actually be forgotten. But, i mean, in a way the mind does have that sorta thing, but it is easily broken when the person or orbject or event that you are trying to forget keeps showing up and that makes the mind revisit the memories that were once suppressed. I hate it. And this week is making this sorta thing hard for me. Why? Well there was a very big chunk of my life that i want to forget because i was an idiot and it hurt me and i just want to move on from it and let it be the whole dust to dust thing. But no, those memories that i locked up and threw away the key were apparently not locked up all the way. They slowly creep into the light, and its just annoying because i cant delete them, only learn from them. Which isnt bad because you learn lessens from your mistakes...but i really wish we could delete it with still have that lesson in my mind. Its just frustrating, but i know everyone suffers from this so it isnt like im the only one. But i will for sure be doing my best to put up extra walls for a bit because i dont like the memories and i dont want them anywhere near the surface. As mean as that sounds...i dont...