The Mind Is A Horror Of Its Own

Have you ever had a day when you just couldn't stop thinking about something? Or have something that just plagues your mind and it will not go away?? Well i have been having this for a little while now. It's a constant guilt that is piling onto my shoulders that i feel horrible about, but i know that i shouldn't be guilty for, but i still am. It is also the voice in the back of my mind that keeps on reminding me of the things i have done wrong. The little voice also keep on telling me that I'm not good enough, when i know i am. It keeps on telling me of the things that were picked at before. All the things that weren't good enough, apparently. There are some days that i look into the mirror and i can't seem to like what i see, while other days i can look myself in the eyes and tell myself that, yes I AM beautiful and nothing needs to be changed. But, these thoughts won't leave my mind, to me they seem to be an open wound that is ever so slowly being closed, but it still keeps oozing. I want to be able to look at myself and never have these thoughts, i want to be happy about myself. But because of my own stupidity i stayed with a guy who caused these wounds, and now they don't seem to want to close. But luckily, I have someone now who tells me that i am perfect, and beautiful just the way i am. He tells me that he loves every bit of me and he doesn't tell me that I'm not perfect, he tells me that I'm amazing. But, my guilt that I'm feeling is for the pain that i caused him. I don't like to hurt people if i don't have to, and I hurt him over and over again, unintentionally and unknowingly yes, but i still did. And this hurts me so much. I replay things in my mind that i could have done differently so as to not hurt him. But i can't change them now, the past is the past, but it still hurts. And, i think i am also feeling an access of anger towards myself and the people that hurt me. Anger towards them for becoming what they have/kind of already were, and towards myself for ever believing them and for ever being with them. I regret it sooo much, its insane how much i do. I just wish that my mind would stop having these thoughts, cause they really hurt, they really really do....