So, this picture really has no relevance to what I'm going to write about...maybe it does, i don't know. It's mainly just a picture that i think is really cool and i just really like it and thought it deserved to been seen somewhere, so why not here? It does kinda remind me of all those pictures that are black and white that have that one thing colored in (I would love a program that did this cause i absolutely love black and white photography). You know, that one colored thing stands out above the rest, that's kinda how i feel this picture is. In a way it reminds me of my life right now. How tons of things are whirling around, but a few things seem to stand out. What whirls around are things like school and such. The standout things though, well at the moment there are a chunk. My family for one, my dad just moved out again for the second time, my sister is like the living devil at times so it makes home life hell...and with my dad gone it is going to get worse. With my dad being gone, my mom cries all the time, i have no car anymore so half the time now I'm fucked, and things are just weird. It kinda sucks a lot. And i wont lie, yeah, I'm angry at him. How could i not be? This is the third time he has done this and i expect him to do it again, he really has no backbone sad to say. I can only hope that we don't get put through this again, i hope he makes an actual decision and sticks with it...but, i can only hope. He wont be here for Easter either, i don't even know if he will show up for prom. I kinda don't want him to, no, i don't hate him, but I'm not very happy about this. Speaking of prom, that is another thing that is standing out, but unlike the last one, this is actually a good stand out. Me and Deric went and got his tux rented today, it was a lot of money, but i think in the end it will definitely be worth it. He is such a sweetheart about it, i couldn't have asked for a better guy. He says that prom is all about me and making the day special for me. He is even going all out for it and getting a really nice tux, paying for the tickets and dinner, and almost for the corsage and butonier until i told him that i wanted to pay for it. But he is still using the extra money from that on me, even when i tell him not too. I have my dress and i think it looks pretty. We know where we are going to dinner thanks to my friend, Olivia, who made the reservations. I know where I'm getting my hair done and nails and such. Pictures at prom are getting covered by my parents...huh, i wonder if that is still true now, we will see...Now all we need to do is buy the tickets and i need to go and order the flowers. It is all coming together nicely...oh, and i have to make sure that i for sure have that day off of work. I am like 85% sure that i do, but i wont know until i see the schedule, which i will see on Monday, so lets cross our fingers. I can't wait for prom to, not because it's "prom", but because it will be a nice dinner with friends, and i get to dance the night away with the most amazing guy in the world, a guy who i hope is actually excited for prom to. Also a guy who is more than happy to go with me because he knows it makes me happy. Gosh, Deric makes me feel so special, i have no clue how i ended up with someone as amazing as him, i don't feel like i deserve it. So Deric is another standout thing, and i know he always will be. He always makes me happy, even when I'm sad like i have been recently, he tries his hardest. I have never had someone treat me like he does before, it blows my mind half the time cause i don't know why i deserve it. I don't really think that i am that special of a person to be treated so kindly and amazingly. I'm just...me. But even so, I cant help but fall even more in love with him every day. I love him more than anything and i don't know what i would do without him. I plan on staying by his side as long as I'm around on this earth. I know I'm only 17, but, when something is right and meant to be, you just...you just know. Even at 17 you know. So, i guess for now these are the standout things in my life...lets hope if anymore come that they are good. I also gotta stop thinking things a little bit, cause i just remembered how like last week i was thinking about how amazingly life was going, i had a job, a wonderful boyfriend, i was doing great in school, it was a lot of good things...which are now all plummeting and turning out to be not so great anymore (Except the job and boyfriend...they are both still doing fine.). Damn Murphy's law. Sigh, oh well though. So i guess that is all for now, we shall see how things turn out.
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