Remember??

Why are you letting yourself have these thoughts?? You know that it would never happen, not with this one. Trust is something that you have here, there are no lies, and you know well enough that something like that is not anywhere near possible. So....why do you let it pop into your mind?
Well, when someone seriously believes it and keeps shoving it into your face, even when you know it is complete and utter bull shit, your mind has that split second of...is that possible? Now, I KNOW that it isn't true and that it never happened, and i know perfectly well that it will never happen. But i have a mind that takes little things and makes them big. A small argument to me is something huge. Why? I really don't know. It what my mind has always done...or possibly slowly morphed into doing because at one time a little argument meant something huge. Why even listen to people, well, not really listen but more along the lines of let them affect me i don't really know as well. It just...is.
Ok, you don't know why you do what you do. You don't know why you sometimes act the way you do. But who really does? My question though, is why the hell are you even letting THAT person affect you. I mean, that is the stupidest thing you have EVER done (well one of them) and you should know that ever listening to them is like listening to the devil. All that comes out is lies and more stress for you. Once was enough wasn't it? Why would you ever fuck your life up again and get involved, even as little as you are now, again???? Like seriously.
...It is stupid i know. But i think that it is because of the fact that whenever that person seems to contact me...even when it is on a good note....they force it down my throat EVERY SINGLE TIME. There has not been a time when that wasn't said or even implied. This person has serious issues, but for some reason they are getting under my skin and sinking into my brain. Probably because of the trouble they cause and how much i really hate them for it, them in general i hate with a burning passion. I mean, who could really be that fucked up in the brain. Of all the people i know it is just them. And i think that it is this reason that they are getting to me. I need to not let it.
Well duh! You know what you believe and you know what the truth is. Don't EVER let someone, especially someone like that, tell you otherwise. You know that no lie has been told to you, you know that you are loved beyond belief, and you know that it will not change for any given reason, especially for a reason like that. Hey, remember that dream you had? Remember that list you gave? Say that list.
You mean the one about why I love him? Ok.
-He's funny
-Has an amazing personality
-Treats me like a princess
-Handsome
-Is willing to do anything for me
-Amazing smile
-Similar interests
-Loves to see me
-Tells me he loves me every day no matter what
-Smart
-Great taste in music/movies/etc.
-My best friend
-Truthful
-Fun to be around
-Energetic
-Playful
-Loves to cuddle with me
-Enjoys the outdoors as much as me
-Loves my dog (Very important to me)
-Loves food
-He wants what i want
-Has the child still in him
-He is everything i have ever wanted in a guy
-He is perfect to me

That's is your list...so why in the world are you ever having any worry? From this list he is the most amazing guy in the world. Why ever have those thoughts?
Well now that i see this, they were stupid thoughts, and that is all they will ever be, thoughts. They wont ever come true because he loves me. He loves me very very much and i love him. What a relief to have these thoughts out of my mind. Thank you. <3